


Love is Blind

by OceanShay



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Matt Murdock, Character Study, Gen, character introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 13:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanShay/pseuds/OceanShay
Summary: I really just like character studies. My inspiration for this piece originally came from a song called Only In Sleep by Erik Esenvalds, despite my choice to leave they lyrics out in the final draft. The Exeter University Singers on YouTube have a great video of it if you haven't heard it already.





	Love is Blind

Matthew Michael Murdock. Defense lawyer. Blind man. Catholic. Aromantic. Bisexual. The man in the mask. Daredevil. Matt had many labels in his life. Some had been given to him arbitrarily, based on things people could see, while others were ones he had chosen for himself, even if only to make others happy. Many people couldn’t see beyond these labels, such as his blindness, or his aromanticism. They saw them as things to be pitied, things that they would change if they had the chance to. Some people just couldn’t see beyond their own world. One where they could see, and love in the way society told them was normal.

Although Matt himself struggled with those same problems, mostly with people who could see, and people who believed in things like love at first sight, he was more able to notice when his thoughts were starting to go down that path of not understanding. He knew how much a simple sentence could hurt someone, even if said with good intentions. This was something, he noticed, that other people had trouble conceptualizing. They’re just words, right? Words can’t really hurt people. What was that old saying, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’? A lot of people seemed to live by that, not realizing that words can cut just as deep as a knife can in one’s mind. 

He took a drink of his beer. There were a lot of words people threw at him. They hurt when he was younger, but now they just bounced right off. He didn’t care that much anymore. If that’s what people wanted to think about him, then he couldn’t really stop them. People are stubborn, and it took more energy to try and change their mind than Matt thought it was worth. He knew, and his close friends knew, that he wasn’t heartless for being aromantic. He wasn’t sleeping around with everyone because he’s also bisexual. He didn’t judge others for choices that didn’t affect him because he’s Catholic. But some people did, and maybe they projected their feelings onto him; their misunderstandings of who he was. 

Matt laid his head back and closed his eyes, closing out the fire of the world. He just needed darkness right now. His own thoughts were starting to wander again, asking whether he was actually human or not, how he could live like this, in solitude, when everyone around him seemed so happy in pairs, how maybe he’s just hiding behind his labels because of his training with Stick. Deep inside he knew that wasn’t the case, as he knew he was different from the other kids even before he lost his vision. He didn’t get crushes on people, he didn’t understand the importance of romance for his friends and, well, basically everyone else. Stick just made it clear that he should never go for that kind of relationship in what would eventually become his line of work. 

Some of his friends wondered about him, if he ever got lonely. He’d tell them that he wasn’t, he was content by himself. He didn’t have to worry about the safety of a significant other is what he normally told them if they knew about Daredevil. Mostly, he’d say he wasn’t comfortable having a romantic partner. The concept of having one for longer than a month scared him. He liked the companionship of his friends but he always felt distant from them because he couldn’t hold a relationship for a long time like they could. In general, he also didn’t like the idea of sharing his living space long term with someone. Maybe he didn’t understand at the time, but it was for the better that he didn’t have a long term relationship. They always seemed to do more damage to him than they were worth. 

What is love anyway, he thought to himself. The concept of romantic love always eluded him, but he felt other types of love. Platonic and familial love were the first to come to mind. Matt loved his friends, loved them in a way he didn’t know if they would understand. Without the need or want for a romantic relationship, he had more energy to spend on them, even if it didn’t seem like he did. He also felt a familial love for his friends, and his father. Until he died, anyway. His father had always made sure that Matthew knew he was loved and that he belonged in this world, no matter what anyone else would tell him. He smiled, thinking about his father. Jack wasn’t the best man by any means, but he was the best father Matt had ever had. As for his friends, he saw them as siblings, or those cousins that you’re really close to for some unknown reason. Foggy and him were almost complete opposites, but they were able to work together and become close. Karen, well, she filled in what was missing in the trio. A calm mind and steely determination to do what was right through the legal system. Even though she had never been to law school herself, she knew that there was something she could do to help others. Matt loved that about her. 

Romantic love. The idea had been pulling at his mind all day. Why was that? There hadn’t been any particularly exciting news stories about it recently, and it wasn’t quite Valentine’s day. Maybe it was one of those ads that had been playing on the radio somewhere, advertising online dating. If romantic love confused Matthew Murdock to this extent, then online dating apps were the icing on the cake. Why were people so desperate for a partner? When you’re single, you don’t have to ask about what’s for dinner, where you want to go on vacation, what job you should apply for. There were so many things that seemed constricting about a relationship. Just having multiple people sharing a house or an apartment seemed weird to him. Unless they were really pressed for money, or they were bound by circumstances, whatever they may be. He valued his privacy more than most people did and having someone live with him would intrude on that. Sure he had friends over for drinks or if they needed a place to crash after partying, but that never lasted more than a day or two at most. Anything longer than that and he wouldn’t be able to go out as a vigilante when he needed to. 

Another problem he seemed to have with romantic ideals was the touching. Cuddling, hand holding, quick kisses (or even longer ones). Personal space was invaded regularly and Matt wasn’t the fondest of being touched. His heightened senses made it harder to process touching. It amplified the feeling and would lead to overloads when he was younger. He can initiate it when he knows someone else needs it or even if he himself needs physical reassurance of something, but having it done at random was not ideal. Not for him anyway. 

A gentle knock at the door startled him from his thoughts. 

“Matt,” a voice called from the hallway, “Matt, are you home?” 

“Yeah.” He responded, slowly standing up from his couch. He sensed two heartbeats on the other side of the door. Familiar, friendly heartbeats. Matt undid the lock and opened the door to his two best friends. 

“Thank God you’re home! Hope we weren’t interrupting anything.” Karen said. Always caring, always wanting the best for others. 

“No, I was just thinking.” Matt responded. 

“Well it’s time to stop thinking and start dancing! We’ve got new clients!” Foggy exclaimed. Alway excited, normally the optimist. 

“What were you thinking about anyway?” Karen’s voice again. Some concern, but mostly ready to celebrate their ‘booming’ firm. 

“Love.” Matt said plainly, grabbing another beer bottle from the bag. And it was true, just not in the way they’d expect. 

“To new clientele!” Matt said, raising his bottle for a toast. 

“To money!” Followed Foggy, doing the same. 

“To love!” Finished Karen, clinking her bottle to theirs before tipping back the drink. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading all the way through! I really appreciate it and would love to hear feedback on it. Don't forget to support your favorite authors by leaving Kudos and comments on their works!


End file.
